Disclaimer: This page is not about women laughing because someone tossed their salad.
A selection of the best image file descriptions on the BBS
AF004534.JPG - 28kb
Don't mess with *this* squirrel! You call him "Sir"!
BATSUIT.JPG - 23kb
George Clooney models the latest in leather 'n latex Chiropteran fashion.
IMG0001.JPG - 18kb
No wonder the cargo bay is empty, everything's fallen out because the shuttle flew upside down :)
13.JPG - 18kb
Elisabeth Shue dare not bend over, else she'll fall right out of her dress.
Liz, you dropped a quarter!
A14.JPG - 99kb
Wild things: Denise Richards sits in front of a weird background, completely zonked out, sexy as hell and fuckable as anything!
A141.JPG - 39kb
Cute butt. Looks English. Still cute.
A28.JPG - 100kb
Spread that body over my Mustang, Sally, I'm gonna ride you right there!
AA-18419.JPG - 81kb
Blonde cheerleader lies on her back, legs wide open... "Go team, go!"
AEO1021.JPG - 63kb
Oh? It would appear that someone got his significant other at a bad spot, snoring away happily.
Is this an entrant in the "Miss Rude Awakening" Competition?
AERIAL06.JPG - 85kb
Nice, very nice... if she's just the aerial, I can't wait to see what's on TV!
ALEXAN_1.JPG - 56kb
You know what makes this picture so good? It's not the babe (and believe me, she's very cute), it's not her boobs (which are just right), it's not her twat (which is hot and ready), and nor is it the fact that she's a redhead or sitting wet by the pool, it's... it's... well, it's... argh, fuck it, she's bloody cute, alright?!
ALM022.JPG - 44kb
Strange little blonde standing naked in front of the fireplace... I assume her name is Alicia. For the same reason I could also assume her name is Buster Keaton, but that wouldn't make an awful lot of sense, now would it?
AM013.JPG - 42kb
Aha, ah yes... this blonde is ready to bend over in front of us. My kinda secretary!
AMY1002.JPG - 74kb
If it weren't for Amy's nice and big boobs, I'd kick her in that stupid face of hers!
ANITA_03.JPG - 53kb
Anita's pink plastic sandals suntanning.
ANN000.JPG - 71kb
Young Ann sits on a blanket in the desert like a lost fart and flashes her beaver.
ARCHIVE1.JPG - 23kb
Print this out and slap it in a picture frame. Then take it to work and put it on your desk.
Observe the reactions...
ASHLEY43.JPG - 76kb
Ashley Hayden nude. NOT!
ASSAMAT2.JPG - 19kb
Pretty girl with glasses shows her behind... even though it may appear to be my bed and my window, I carry no knowledge of having ever taken this photo.
AUBURN2.JPG - 16kb
"Have me on a free CD-ROM now!"
Well, a CD is a bit small but, I guess, we can give it a try...
BABE007.JPG - 67kb
Whoah! Ice will not last long on her body - my fuck, this babe is HOT!
BARBA.JPG - 16kb
Barba, where's the "ra"? She's the best lay in the land, ra-ra!
BARBIE~.JPG - 64kb
I'm so ugly, but that's ok, 'cos so are you!
BECKY02.JPG - 21kb
Nevermind the magazines, bring the nurse!
BETH_05.JPG - 125kb
Beth uses her panties to keep her ankles warm, and she's not even a blonde!
BLACK011.JPG - 55kb
This is Patricia Ford. In order to escape a mundane trailer-park existence, she takes her clothes off and waits for someone to come and rescue her. I'm on my way, baby!
BLKG005.JPG - 62kb
Dang, it's my goddess again! Hold on while I go to the toilet for a few minutes...
BLOND053.JPG - 64kb
Statuesque-looking blonde leans topless over a Rolls Royce...
[okay, so my chauffeur's a model in her spare time!]
BRENDA1O.JPG - 96kb
Brenda hasn't quite the face to launch any ships, but a pose that'll make me wanna fire my torpedo right into her hull!
BROWN023.JPG - 69kb
These boots are made for walking away while lifting up her dress to show a lovely bum!
BUNNY048.JPG - 46kb
Christine Hill: No relation to Damon, she's a topless fuck-bunny el supremo!
BUNNY178.JPG - 47kb
Milky Lane have recovered from near financial ruin after hiring nubile young blonde waitresses whose only uniform is a little hat, collars and shoes.
BUNS-1~1.JPG - 24kb
Wouldn't mind sticking my hot dog between those buns!
CGIRL1_I.JPG - 54kb
She has sea shells for a bra on the sea shore!
COURTNE1.JPG - 177kb
Hold on a moment, hold on a moment while I quickly place this one into my private collection as well... gorgeous nude blonde on a balcony. Work with that, okay?
DD_B187.JPG - 55kb
Phew! What a view of the mountains and the valley between them... and look! There's the sea too,
I can smell the fish!
DONFLASH.JPG - 28kb
See? Now we're talking! This is a decent amateur picture... the wife flashing her body actually has a body and a face worth flashing. Lady, what are your views on adultery?
DPG_1343.JPG - 29kb
Tony the Tiger says, "They're GRRREAT nipples!!"
DPG_167.JPG - 52kb
Lean, sweaty and damn sexy... I don't care what you think, I'm the SysOp and I say so!
ELONA1.JPG - 67kb
Some topless bitch, and it looks like she's standing on a dinosaur turd.
ENBO12.JPG - 26kb
Housewife shows us her butt. I bet she's actually saying, "You want ME to do the dishes? Here, kiss my arse!"
EROTRIO.JPG - 43kb
Smut in the attic: Three erotic pictures of a woman, probably around the turn of the century... see? Pornography isn't the evil invention of a modern society without morals!
F18.JPG - 20kb
Young brunette babe shows us her butt, which poses the snooker question: Should I sink the pink or the brown?
FF-22.JPG - 63kb
Farrah Fawcett on the cover of Playboy: Still looking good, considering the Six Million Dollar Man got to pork her on a regular basis!
FLOUI.JPG - 48kb
We're supposed to be fascinated by her feet, but seeing as she's wearing sandals we'd much rather concentrate on her shapely legs and the large cleavage she's blessed with.
FREE7.JPG - 43kb
Babe appears to check whether she's stepped into dog shit or something, but I somehow doubt that this was the purpose of her pose with the motorbike...
GFHFFHG.JPG - 105kb
Yep, the filename pretty much describes in an onomatopoeic fashion what we said when we saw this nice girl!
GW_A13.JPG - 7kb
For 7k worth of .JPG I'm not going to come up with a long description or invent some exciting story about this picture or the people in it, I'll just be brief and to the point: Naked Asian girl.
HOSH0127.JPG - 134kb
Inbetween taking part in competitions and beating the crap out of towtruck drivers, she does some modelling too...
IMG0046).JPG - 62kb
She's English, I can tell by the type of wall socket, but her own socket is universal!
JSET2.JPG - 25kb
The bride brags about what the groom's getting for dinner tonight!
KAREN.JPG - 15kb
Alex: Something I found on the Net.
Herby: You should've left it there!
[Topless babe behind some computers]
KATEM218.JPG - 15kb
Kate Moss, modelling some ridiculous outfit that requires the wearer to have stiff nipples... That's fashion!
LESLIE08.JPG - 23kb
SuperBabe Leslie Glass gives us the finger. The way she's sitting, the best response would be "Darling, I think you know exactly where to put that!"
MCE_119.JPG - 163kb
This girl is almost hot 'n ready for some fun in front of the fireplace, but I'll wait for this spook to get a bit more colour first!
MG20099.JPG - 151kb
Something for the mechanically inclined amongst us: What are we looking at here; the nekkid blonde, or the engine behind her?
MON76.JPG - 80kb
Those tits ain't real, and she's either a stripper or a whore. Furthermore, she's in a motel room, naked, and her legs spread wide. So, what's the problem?
NIKKI41.JPG - 70kb
Nikki lies on her bed and shows her butt, and what hangs underneath it...
(No Beavis, it's not a turd!)
NLR_0089.JPG - 23kb
She also out-stares cats for fun.
PGN194.JPG - 43kb
Excellent advert for Dutch pussy! This picture should be included in travel brochures.
PGN318.JPG - 45kb
Sexy redhead cavorting around half-naked in the English countryside with a black lamb wearing red rubber boots? This makes sense.
PGN369.JPG - 47kb
The Anti-Seal-Clubbing lobby should approve of this picture: Sexy blonde does not wear fur. Instead, she remains naked and merely lies on it.
PGN402.JPG - 30kb
Australians wear hats with those corks dangling from the brim to keep the flies away from their faces. This blonde babe wears something similar around her waist.
RENE25.JPG - 12kb
The time now is 2:02:04 PM. That's my wife sitting in the chair. Ain't she pretty?
Honey, you mind flashing a tit for the folks back home?
RIAPPR01.JPG - 214kb
Alicia Rickter, Miss October 1995... and she likes to play with computers too?
Oh baby, my joystick is yours!
ST18.JPG - 31kb
Like on The Lair: Blonde woman lying on her back. Her breasts are exposed and her pubic area is also visible.
STELLA3.JPG - 28kb
Stella looks as if someone dragged the hairy gunk that usually clogs the shower drain through an oil spill and slapped it on her head!
T039.JPG - 41kb
This girl clearly demonstrates how one should dress when connecting to the HMVH Corporation BBS.
TAHNEEW1.JPG - 90kb
Tawnee Welch's current pose and state of (un)dress leaves us with no choice other than to develop a terrible boner...
TAMA_09.JPG - 62kb
A-ha! Now that she's done her toe nails, she's just checking to make sure they're drying... she evidently also enjoys watching grass grow.
TAMMI18.JPG - 55kb
Even though he's just a poster on the wall, Elvis also likes what he sees!
TJEJ1_2.JPG - 49kb
Either she's just crouching or is about to have a piss by the roadside...
TT1067.JPG - 28kb
Now listen here, lady: It's acceptable for a man to do this because we have nuts that sometimes need adjusting, but a woman...!
0120SEC.JPG - 63kb
... and so the secretary said to me, she said, Mr. Hönigsperger, why don't you please take a seat until Mr. Wilson is finished with the meeting. Then, like, she started stripping and, she said, you know, we've got no magazines and stuff, so, well, she'll just entertain me otherwise, so I just sat there and stared with my jaw wide open.
112.JPG - 108kb
Oriental babe daydreams that the SysOp of HMVH is about to pound into her... Yeah!
ALS-A823.JPG - 91kb
Definitely no little mermaid, this Ariel has legs all the way up to heaven - and here she proves its existence as well!
JANA444.JPG - 81kb
What's to be said about Jana? Oh, the stuff wet dreams are made of...
BASS041.JPG - 31kb
When this picture was taken several years back, Kim Basinger would never have imagined that she'd walk away with an Academy Award, despite those long legs.
CS2.JPG - 60kb
Nothing but a knitted fishnet whatchamacallit, yet you can't see her thingies! Schwing!
DM-32.JPG - 23kb
Young Demetria Guynes first tried her luck at burglary. Here she is, trying to enter a flat through a window. Problem is, once inside she was often mistaken for a surprise gift by the resident of the building because of the clothes she wore during her break-ins. So, instead of changing her wardrobe she chose to pursue an acting career under the name of Demi Moore.
TRISHF4.JPG - 51kb
This is a freaked out picture: B/W, yes, Trish's hair is cropped short, looking like a wet rat. She wears nothing but a pair of jeans, her arms are folded across her chest, and she tries to outstare the camera with a look that's a cross between innocence, tiredness, lustfulness and a babelaas!
CHIZEV3.JPG - 150kb
Muscle & Fitness: Training with the champ.
Not a fuck would I wanna get between _her_ legs!
S_UPSK20.JPG - 57kb
Number 20 in the series "Why I spend a suspicious amount of time riding the escalators at Northgate".
SS_10.JPG - 52kb
What little Johnny saw when he went to retrieve the spoon he dropped under the table...
SALMAH_2.JPG - 52kb
If you squint just right with your third eye and when Ganimede is in Aquarius over Venus with the rings of Saturn in Easter and the jumping cows come home for a beer in their Studebaker, you might be able to make out what the artist intended to show: Topless Salma Hayek.
GW_CARL.JPG - 30kb
Carl ponders the great question: "Where the fuck did I leave my clothes?"
GOG7.JPG - 33kb
Three hot blondes on the beach. The SysOp's nowhere to be found, so now they've got to entertain themselves.
STARE!_1.JPG - 19kb
When this picture was taken by the recipient of the current oral delight, the supplier of said pleasure was not at all bemused.
MC-H343.JPG - 55kb
Once this guy dives in she won't know where his face ends and her beaver starts...
TENT004.JPG - 77kb
She tried to sit down in the Jeep but, alas, his face got in the way!
TXP_0001.JPG - 51kb
I can eat clearly now, the hair is gone!
RIKKI45.JPG - 157kb
I'll give 'em points for innovation and successful execution of an interesting position... but is it comfortable?
VOLCANO1.JPG - 116kb
Volcano? Let's pretend for a moment that this is Linda Hamilton shrieking while she rides Pierce Brosnan's chop near Dante's Peak: Who's gonna erupt first?
DOGIE4.JPG - 20kb
This is service: Instead of coffee or other crap, the receptionist keeps both visitors busy until the boss is able to see them.
1CORE.JPG - 9kb
I think she's lost something... wait, she's about to pull out a cactus or a spare tyre or the kitchen sink!
9703160.JPG - 156kb
Here we have one of two possible scenarios:
1. She's playing with herself and doesn't want to be disturbed, so she took the phone off the hook.
2. This is a phone sex line, and the guy on the other side is in for a really good treat!
J_LUVV06.JPG - 118kb
Let's try following this sequence of events: Finger-finger-yes-good-no-not so good! A quick shave. Oh-good-yes-great-finger fuck-I love this-oh shit this is good-let me lie back and stick my very colourful stockings up in the air-yes-lovely-oh-ohhhhh!
WHIPPER.JPG - 26kb
Whip me, hurt me, slap me, you kinky animal, just don't make me read my mail online!
KJ52N.JPG - 24kb
Fame in four easy steps:
1. Put gun under chin
2. Pull trigger
3. Wait for coroner or mortician or detectives to take pictures
4. Photo appears on the HMVH Corporation BBS.
See? Famous forever!